I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
