I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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