If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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