i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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