Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
