Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
