She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
