Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
