ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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