I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
