dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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