Michael Bay diarrhea
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
