The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
