you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
