In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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