Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
