Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
