Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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