is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
