Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
