just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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