Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
