I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
