Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
