do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
