i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
