Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
