Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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