well most of my day revolves around power hour
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize