Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
