butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
