eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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