To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
