My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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