last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
