TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
