Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have feelings that need drinking.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
