My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
