Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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