I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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