i just had sex bonerless
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Randomize
