We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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