It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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