I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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