you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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