What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
