His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
