So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
