Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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