i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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