i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Green mimosas i think yes
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
