you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize
