Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
