I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
